Have you ever stopped to think why you may be struggling to control your sexual impulses? What about it is so difficult to manage and not something we can easily dispense with? Sexuality, of course, is a natural thing that God created. However the word struggle implies resistance and dysfunction. It implies that things are not operating the way they are supposed to. Clearly, some change is in order.
You may remember Amen Alex from two other videos on How To Defeat Lust For Good and How To Quit Porn Forever. Today, I’ve transcribed a short clip in which Amen Alex talks about the role childhood trauma and ease of accessibility play in the battle for sexual integrity.
As I’ve said frequently on this blog, we cannot isolate one area of our lives. Everything is connected. If we want freedom in one area, we need to pursue freedom in every area. That may mean healing from trauma and emotional scars. That may mean eating better and exercising. That may mean reducing our screen time and transforming our relationship to technology.
Check out the video and transcript down below!
To talk about childhood trauma, as a kid, at seven years old, I was introduced to porn. And I was at a friend’s house, a sleepover, it was late at night. And late at night, inappropriate content comes on. And so that’s when I saw it. And I was immediately addicted because of childhood trauma. I witnessed a lot of stuff in our neighborhood and saw things that kids shouldn’t see. It hurt me, it scared me and because it’s a feeling of being unsafe, I fell into sexual sin, because it’s numbing. It comforts you, and it’s a false comfort. It’s a short comfort. And the more you partake in pornography, the less comforting it is.Alex Wilson
For more, see the complete archive of articles on integrity.
Why is sexual sin so hard to overcome? I was just turning on the TV for my oldest son, Amos, and the other two boys were sleeping, and I turned it on and the first thing I see is this inappropriate girl in a yoga position, and I was immediately tempted because no one is home. I’m at my parents’ house in California. My mom’s gone, my dad’s gone, my wife is gone on a coffee date—perfect time to fall into temptation. And I was tempted right away, and I thought, of course, resist. That’s some of my own advice that I’ve gotten from John Piper, but I’ve also said it in a video. There’s a video called How to Beat Lust and another video called How To Quit Porn, and those are two videos I made on my channel if you want to go check those out.
But I took my own advice, and I took John Piper’s advice, and I resisted. And then my next thought was, “Why is it so easy for me to fall into this? And there’s two reasons whyy it’s so easy to fall into sexual temptation. The first one is childhood trauma. The second one is how easily accessible it is.
To talk about childhood trauma, as a kid, at seven years old, I was introduced to porn. And I was at a friend’s house, a sleepover, it was late at night. And late at night, inappropriate content comes on. And so that’s when I saw it. And I was immediately addicted because of childhood trauma. I witnessed a lot of stuff in our neighborhood and saw things that kids shouldn’t see. It hurt me, it scared me and because it’s a feeling of being unsafe, I fell into sexual sin, because it’s numbing. It comforts you, and it’s a false comfort. It’s a short comfort. And the more you partake in pornography, the less comforting it is.
It’s just like any drug. The more you take it, the less it works. And it’s a chemical-release drug in your brain. It’s tricking your mind. It’s playing tricks on your mind, and it hurts the way and ability to love people. People all over the world are experiencing very very psychological and mental struggles when it comes to depression or even trying to love their spouse, or love their partners, like their boyfriends or girlfriends. It’s affecting people in so many ways because it’s not good for you. It actually—people say porn kills love. And it does. It’s been a traumatizing thing for me, and the reason why we go into it, the reason why we fall into is because childhood trauma, for the most part.
Whenever anyone—which, everyone has experienced some type of trauma of pain or confusion or fear. Whenever you go through that, this is a way that your body says, “Go to this.” Our flesh says, “Go to this.” Our flesh says, “Do this, and you’ll feel better.” And it’s a lie. It’s a lie from the enemy.
And the second thing is it’s so easily accessible. Not only is it so easily to fall into, but it’s also everywhere. TV, phones, whatever it is, it’s everywhere. I didn’t get a Smartphone until I was in 9th grade. That was when the first iPhone came out, and I didn’t get the first iPhone, but that was when Smartphones came out, and [before] that it was like we had to go to grocery stores and go to the magazines in the grocery stores or go, you know, search on TV, or whatever, but now, with the internet, it’s so easily accessible. It’s easy to find content to make you feel numb. It’s easy to get addicted, and it’s easy to get traumatized by content that can, you know, form horrible patterns in your brain. And so what do we do?
Well, I’ve done two videos about this How to Beat Lust and How To Quit Porn. Go check this out, but this video’s more or less to talk about why you might possibly be struggling with this, and why it’s so easy to fall into this.