Life After Pornography

A man in a forest of trees, representing the journey of life..
Life after pornography is better, but there are other roadblocks on the journey.

Can you imagine life without porn? A lot of people can’t–they have been hooked for so long. They either have no interest in breaking the habit or have tried and failed to kick it for good. In this article, I want to help you visualize life post-pornography. If we don’t have a vision for the future, we won’t take the necessary steps to get there. And if that vision is not realistic, we may get there only to experience disappointment.

The first thing to know about porn is that it adds no value to life. It doesn’t strengthen relationships, build character, or increase happiness. In fact, I would argue that it does the opposite. I’ve had this convo with friends who watch porn regularly. They know it isn’t bettering their life in any meaningful way but they are reluctant to give it up since it offers instant gratification. When someone does something they know isn’t good for them, it is usually the result of emotional weakness. Here are some of the most commonly reported effects of quitting porn.

A Greater Desire To Connect With Real People

This has certainly been my experience. Real females suddenly became more attractive. And I had a greater interest in socializing with both males and females. Porn is an anti-social activity. I’ve also noticed that a lot of people don’t seek out a life partner because they’re constantly satisfying their sex drive on porn. If the desire to get it in is the only reason you have for entering into a relationship, you’re in trouble. But sex drive has always been a natural, normal, and healthy driving force of marriage. When you misuse it, you warp your psychology and change the direction of your life in a major way.

An Increase In Self-respect

This one applies to people who believe porn is morally wrong or unhealthy. Whenever we act against our values, we lose respect for ourselves, and self-respect isn’t a game we can cheat. Our brain keeps track of everything we think, say, and do. If we want to improve the way we view ourselves, we can start by doing the things we already know we should be doing.

Greater Emotional Health

Porn is a numbing behavior for a lot of people. They watch it when they’re feeling angry, sad, or depressed. When we numb emotions, they don’t disappear. They get pushed to a deeper place inside us and affect our lives in subliminal ways. Being disconnected from emotions takes away our ability to process them into something positive. And when we numb negative emotion, we tend to numb positive emotion, as well. When we quit porn, the cloud gets lifted and we start experiencing real life. We experience anger. We experience sadness. And we can deal with that anger and sadness after we learn what it’s trying to teach us. We also experience more positive emotion like happiness and excitement. In the long run, porn improves emotional health. And emotional health is one of the most important things in life.

Problems Post-Pornography

Life is a challenge with or without porn. Porn just makes things more complicated than they have to be. After we quit porn, we still experience negative emotion. We still have relational challenges. We still have to work hard. We still experience setbacks. We still have serious character flaws that need worked on. We’re just better able to deal with these challenges. And these are areas that we should all already be working on every day.

In sum, getting better in the area of sexual integrity should be part of a larger process of growth and development that encompasses every area of life. Changed people not only get free; they stay free.

Have you quit porn for any length of time? What are some things you have observed in that process?

For more, check out Porn Addiction Vs Other Types of Addiction (Porn Reboot). For the complete archive of articles, click here.

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