Overcoming Pornography, Sexual Perversion, and Healing From My Past (Gabrielle Pierre)

Gabrielle Pierre talking about overcoming pornography and healing
“If she can do it, I can do it, too.”

Today, I want to share a powerful testimony by a girl named Gabrielle. Gabrielle tells the world how she overcame many things in her life with the help of God. Gabrielle grew up in church and was molested as a young girl. This trauma opened up the door to pornography and sexual perversion, which she kept a secret from her loved ones. Gabrielle talks about the things that helped her get free from her trauma, an unhealthy soul tie with a man, and her pornography and lust habit.

For Gabrielle, transparency and accountability are key. If you have experienced a trauma or are struggling with sin, it is important to open up to the right people, who can provide the support you need. Gabrielle also mentions as a strategy to defeat sin the daily renewing of our minds through the word of God. Finally, Gabrielle describes the practical lifestyle changes she made, like filtering the music and media she consumes, as “transformative” in her process of healing.

Check out the full testimony down below. I’ve transcribed the complete video in case you are unable to watch or prefer to read. Also, consider sharing your own testimony with the community (here).

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

romans 12:2

Transcript:

Hey guys! My name is Gabrielle Pierre, and welcome to my YouTube channel. So today, I am filming a video that I have been putting off for some time, and, of course, by God’s grace and by God’s power [I will] share my testimony.

I grew up in the church with my family. Ever since I was a little girl, I remember going to church on Sunday’s, but I didn’t really know what a relationship with God was like. In high school, got into my junior year, a friend of mine evangelized to me about what a relationship with God really is, like what salvation looks like. Like, it’s not just about going to a church on Sundays, but it’s about a heart change. Salvation is when God changes your heart of stone into a heart of flesh, and what you once hated, you now love. And what you once loved, you now hate. I went home, deeply convicted. I got on my knees and I started crying out to God. I was like, “God, save me from my sin.” I feel like that was the day I truly devoted my life to God.

From that point on, my journey really began. In elementary school, I experienced being molested by a family member. When that happened to me, I did not know what to do. I did not know how to process it. My brain still didn’t even understand what sex was, you know. Like my body was still developing. All of that, right? So when that happened to me, I shut down. I didn’t feel comfortable telling anybody. I didn’t tell my mom. I didn’t tell family members. That opened up the door to sexual perversion.

At this point, I had encountered pornography. I would, you know, hide, start to watch pornography on the computer. I felt dirty. I felt shameful watching, but I didn’t know how to deal with that. When I decided to really dedicate my life to God, I felt convicted to another level. This is, of course, supernatural conviction about pornography. I wouldn’t know it to years later–the root of all of it. At this point, I’m looking at pornography as a sin that I could not shake off of me, even though I was convicted about it. I would pray like all the time, “God, deliver me from the sin. God do something. I hate this sin. I don’t like watching pornography. I know you don’t like it. I know it displeases you to see me do that, but I don’t know how to deal with it.”

So that was my heart. While that was happening, I applied for this amazing scholarship, the Bill and Melinda Gates Scholarship, which is a full-ride to any school that you want. It’s still paying for my school now currently at Harvard Graduate School of Education, which is going to be another testimony for a different video, but I was, you know, wanted to grow deeper in my relationship with God. He was opening up these amazing doors for my life. I was being surrounded by godly community in my school, but I was still struggling, you know, with this sin. I felt ashamed to even tell anybody that I was struggling with that.

So in high school, I also had a relationship with this guy. That opened up a door to now sex before marriage. We both knew it was wrong. We were both Christian. At this point, we had a close relationship with each other, and I had developed a soul tie to him. If you don’t know what a soul tie is—soul ties can be godly, and they can be ungodly. Jonathan and David had a soul tie, but it was a good soul tie. Now I’m talking about ungodly soul ties.

In 1 Corinthians 6:16, it says, “Or do you now know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, ‘the two will become one flesh.’” Even if you have sex with a prostitute, right, you guys aren’t even married, you become one with that person. That’s why sex is so powerful. And it references the verse, “the two will become one.” And we know that in the Bible, it talks about a husband and a wife become one flesh, so I had had an ungodly soul tie to this guy, and I moved for college, and we had ended the relationship because it was ungodly, and we wanted to pursue God. We wanted to walk in holiness, right? And purity. So when that happened, oh my gosh, guys..

My freshman year of college was like the hardest part of my life, season of my life. First of all, all this stuff was coming up from my past, from my lust issue, my sexual perversion issue. And my spirit and my body was in conflict with each other. I wanted to walk in holiness, but my past was pulling me back. At that time, I had to sever that soul tie, and it was hard, guys. I wanted to go back to the relationship, but he wasn’t having it, thank God. I had to pray, fast, ask people to pray for me, be transparent in my conversations with the people that God placed around me. I had to sever that soul tie with that guy, but I was still dealing with pornography.

It wasn’t until I met a current close friend of mine. I’m not going to say her name, but that’s when I really began my healing journey. She decided to disciple me. She decided to sit down with me every week, go through the Bible with me, hear me out. We would have long conversations, and that’s where our friendship began. So I shared my testimony with her, and at this point, I had never told anyone that I was molested in the past. And I shared that with her.

What happened to me as a little girl—that was my deepest, darkest secret. That was really a stronghold. That was something I Put in the back of my mind, but the effects of it were still impacting me. It was hard to confront that part of my life. I was broken, I didn’t know I was so broken from that. I had to really, like, sit down and think about what happened, and process that with God for true healing to occur. If you experience something like that. If you have something that you feel like is holding you back, anything, you know, and it’s really affected you–transparency is key. The enemy wants you to keep those things secret, so that he can trap you in bondage, but God wants you to be free. I had to process that with God, one.

Two, at this point, I was in my junior year of college, and I had finally told my mom and my grandma what happened when I was a girl. God was leading me to do that, and that opened up a new level of freedom to know that this is not a secret anymore. I started to share my testimony with my church community. I went on a mission’s trip. When speaking to the youth, I would share that part of my testimony, as well. So I started sharing my testimony publicly, how God was dealing with me with the shame and the guilt of the past. That happened to me, but it wasn’t my fault, right?

Even when I got saved and I was dealing with, still, pornography. You know lust and all of that. I felt convicted about it, and the enemy would try to condemn me about it. He would make me want to feel shameful. You know, I would never get over this. But God really had me on a journey of learning conviction. Learning repentance. Learning to get up. I started going to therapy. I’m not going to say that I’m completely, like perfectly healed. I believe healing is a process. It’s continual. God is helping me through this journey. It’s not by might, not by power.

I used to think I had to do this x, y, z, to be free. None of that would have worked. Literally, by the Spirit of God that I am able to walk in complete freedom from sin. He gives me tools. He gives me resources that equip me. He puts people in my life to keep me accountable. Things to keep me accountable, but it is only by the Spirit of God. It is only by the renewing of your mind with the Word of God that you can truly defeat and overcome sin, strongholds, etc.

For anyone who is out there who may, you know, be struggling with sexual perversion, lust, pornography. I would tell you to one, confess your sin to God. Confess your sin to the people closest to you that are Christian, right. I know there are some people that may be like, “Pornography is not a sin. Masturbation, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Look in your Bible, do your research. C’mon guys. Confess to God. Confess to people around you. Have an accountability partner.

And I think the one thing that has transformed my victories in this area is knowing what I can and cannot handle, my triggers, what I can and cannot do. For example, what type of music am I listening to? Am I listening to music that is talking about sex, that is talking about doing this guy this way, doing this girl this way? Like, that’s not going to help me walk in purity. I try to stay away from music that entices that part of my life.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m perfect, right. That’s not the case, but that’s helped me. Not watching certain shows. The shows these days, sex on every scene. So I can’t watch certain shows. That’s been hard. It’s a lot but it’s a lot that’s goes into guarding your heart.  

This is just a grief synopsis of my testimony. I can go into all the things that God has done for me, but that’s just an overall view. You guys kind of know me better now, but thank you so much for watching it until the end if you stayed.

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