How Do I Find A Wife?

a ring, a symbol of marriage
Marriage is a big goal for many people of faith.

The title of this post is inspired by a famous Biblical Proverb, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). I want to address this verse in the context of sexual integrity. Christianity teaches that God rewards those who obey him. Just as there was punishment for disobeying God in the Garden of Even, there is reward for those who do the right thing, not only in the hereafter, but in this life.

My son (or daughter) do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.”

PRoverbs 3:1-2

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

This is an important life principle. However, some people only obey God to get some blessing. They may have been told–or maybe they told themselves–that if they “save themselves for marriage,” or make wise choices in the sexual area, God will bring them an ideal life partner.

God can do whatever he wants, and I have no doubt that He often brings people together who then have to fight for the success of the relationship. However, God is NOT obligated to do anything, and there are no guarantees in life! It is also my experience that God often does not bless us in the way or time that we expect.

If you want to get married, you will eventually have to go out and find a wife or husband. That typically involves doing what you can to attract and keep a member of the opposite sex, a process that most species on earth dedicate a lot of time to. There are many factors that go into relationship success, like attraction, values, personality, purpose, and emotions. We need to work on all these areas to maximize our probability for success. Let’s ask God for help and wisdom in this area, and be grateful for whatever he gives us.

To be clear, I believe people who make wise decisions in the sexual area are far more likely to achieve happiness in a lifelong monogamous relationship. I’ve seen countless examples where people who’ve slept around or became addicted to pornography, and never got healed, have a really hard time with this. Broken hearts, sexual memories, and emotional ties are not a joke. God can heal all of these, but a big part of wisdom is avoiding unnecessary pain.

Entitlement is the enemy of gratitude. Entitlement is about what I’m owed. Gratitude is about what I’m gifted and graced with.

Today let’s be grateful for the help God gives us, while keeping in mind that it is our responsibility to go out and find a life partner when the time is right.

Author: Cornelius

I’m a 20-something year old from the American Midwest passionate about seeing people make healthy, informed choices about the moral direction of our lives.

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