Terry Crews is a man of many talents. Per his Wikipedia, he is an actor, comedian, activist, artist, and former NFL football player. Crews has lived the majority of his adult life in the American spotlight, but one thing nobody knew about him for years was his secret addiction to pornography. The addiction got so bad that it nearly cost him his marriage. Even more importantly, it had damaged him as a human being and he knew he had to change regardless of whether he could save his marriage. With the help of counseling, Crews overcame his addiction and quit pornography for good. His wife Rebecca said it took her 3 years to regain trust in him, but their relationship is apparently stronger than it’s ever been.
Crews has boldly shared his testimony on various programs and forums over the years. I learned the most from his series of 5 Facebook live videos entitled “Dirty Little Secret.” I’ve transcribed part one in which Terry opens up about his struggle with lust with the goal of setting others free. Pornography, he says, trained him to see people as body parts –things to be used rather than people to be loved. If you get something out of it, I highly recommend checking out parts 2-5 on YouTube.
Hey what’s up, Facebook fam, how are you doing? It’s me Terry Crews again. I just want to address some things real quick. The subject is “dirty little secret.” For years and years, my dirty little secret was that I was addicted to pornography. . for years.
Now most of you who are on Facebook are using the internet. And it’s kind of crazy because this thing has become a problem. I think it’s a worldwide problem but pornography–it really, really, really messed up my life in a lot of ways. The thing is it became a thing where I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t tell anybody, it was my secret. Nobody knew. And that allowed it to grow, and it got bad. Now when I say bad–some people deny it, they say “Hey man, you can’t really be addicted to pornography. There’s no way.” But I’m doing to tell you something, “If day turns into night, and you’re still watching, you’ve probably got a problem.”
And that was me. It affected everything. I didn’t tell my wife, didn’t tell my friends. Nobody knew. But the internet allowed that little secret to stay and grow. My wife was literally like, “I don’t know you anymore. I’m out of here.” And that changed me. I had to change because I realized this thing is a major major problem. I literally had to go to rehab, and the thing that I found is that by not telling people, it becomes more powerful. But when you tell and when you put it out there in the open, just like I’m doing right now– to the whole world–it loses its power.
And everybody wants you to keep this little secret. “Don’t tell anybody, whisper. .” I’m telling. And I’m putting it out there. I’ve been free of this going on 6, 7 years now, thank goodness. But now it’s become my battle to help other people who are going through the same thing. Now I know you’re on the internet, if you don’t have this problem, it’s OK. A lot of people don’t, but there are a lot of people who can’t stop, and I’m here to help you. You can talk to me. Now some of you may not agree, please tell me what you think.
But my issue was and is with pornography it changes the way you think about people. People become body parts–things to be used, rather than people to be loved. You start to change the way you see people, and you start to use people. You start to feel like you’re the man and they’re just whatever. And I had to change my thinking. I had to change what I believe. And once I knew and once I was aware of what it was doing to me, it changed me. I said “I got to stop this.”
I’m going to tell you this, my wife was like “I’m out.” You know what? I did not get help so that I could get my wife back. I got help because I needed it. My wife could have decided “I’m gone,” and that would have been it. And there would have been nothing I could have done about it because that was her choice. But she did decide to stay with me because she knew I was repentant. She knew I was going to get help. And she knew I was sorry.
Let me tell you something. It’s not enough to just ask forgiveness. It’s always, always necessary to make amends. To fix the problem. To do whatever you can to fix the problem. So if you are going through some things like this–or if you’re not–if you agree, if you don’t agree, I’m keeping it real. It’s your boy Terry Crews, I’m not playing. It’s intensity-level Terry Crews. We’re going all the way–2016.
We don’t battle people, you battle mindsets that attempt to put people down. You battle mindsets that attempt to hold people back. That’s what I’m battling. I don’t battle people, I battle the way people think. That’s what I’m talking about. Again, I love you, share with me, come with me. I’m going to be doing this a lot, so please, if you don’t like it, I understand, I’m with you.
I can sing “Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces past, and I’m home now.” I can do that all day. We’re going to have a lot of fun, we’re going to be singing. But I also want to share, and I want to help people. That is what I’m about. Guys, that’s my mission. It’s my life, it’s what I do. I love yall. I love you Facebook. Have a great day, I’m on my way to work.